ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
