i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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