Do you still have your period?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
