nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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