If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Found the puke drawer
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That's how pantless uber rides happen
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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