And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They have beer where we have blood.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize