Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize