guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
