Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
