when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
