Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
