Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
