i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
