he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
