I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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