Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
