Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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