im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize