I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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