She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
as a side note pls kill me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
