We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize