what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
