forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
