I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize