I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Im part way to drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
