I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
