So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
