Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize