brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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