I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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