i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
