It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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