Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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