My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
