why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I supernannyed him into submission
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
