Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize