I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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