Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
