What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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