i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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