I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
