I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
