taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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