can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
