Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
