I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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