dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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