I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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