dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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