why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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