We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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