guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
