I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
