Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize