didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
