Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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