You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
