dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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