Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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