your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize