Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
