singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
