Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
