was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
