Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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