remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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