If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
